


Let's Get Lost Tonight

by MusicalRaven



Category: Game Grumps, Real Person Fiction, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Amsterdam, Antique Shops, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Communication, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, M/M, Misunderstandings, This turned out a lot sweeter than expected, Tour Bus, Touring, meandering conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2019-10-31 11:06:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17848310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalRaven/pseuds/MusicalRaven
Summary: While out on tour, there isn’t much time to take to yourself. Somehow, Dan and Arin find themselves with a free night while in Amsterdam. Not willing to waste the opportunity, the two of them explore the city and find themselves thinking about a lot more than they thought they would. But Dan is reluctant to even consider that Arin could think of him as more than a friend.Or Arin finds the weirdest shit while out shopping, Dan is having a crisis, and Jack and Brent just want some peace and quiet





	1. Amsterdam

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, old prompts, new story. I once asked for fic titles to come up with plots for and this was one of them. Turned out more angsty than I meant it to, but expect a happy ending cause I can't not

Dan is laying face down on the bed when he feels what might as well be an earthquake rocking the bed. He feels Arin's arm slap his back and his body tilt into his as the bed settles. Arin's groan reverberates through his bones. He pulls his face from the sheets and lays it sideways, catching a mouthful of Arin's hair. He coughs, scooching back an inch. "Geez, Arin, warn me next time." Arin's response is a louder groan. He rolls over to face him and yawns.

"What, you wanted me to yell 'Geronimo' next time or somethin'?"

"That, or just say, 'Hey, I'm about to jump onto the bed. Might wanna move before I smash your head into the mattress.'"

Arin shrugs, rolling closer as he plants his face squarely in the sheets again. His shoulder bumps Dan's. " S'too long. Too tire for that for that shit."

Dan raises an eyebrow. "'Too tire?'"

Arin grunts and bumps his shoulder, purposefully this time. Dan giggles. "You know what I meant."

"Yeah, okay, Mr. Lazy." Dan shifts so he's laying on his back, hands resting on his chest. He lets his eyes fall shut, yawning as he does.

"We just did like, a two-hour show." The bedsprings squeak as Arin adjusts himself. "I think I'm entitled to be a bit lazy."

"Mmm, yeah." Dan yawns again. "God, I feel like I'm gonna die. Why is this tour so long?"

"Cause that's what our fans want. Lotsa shows." Arin sighs. "But hey, only another week and we're on our way home." He feels something nudge his ribs and he blinks his eyes open, turning his head to find Arin with a pillow curled under his arms, sitting propped up against it. "We should do something."

Dan snorts a laugh. "I thought we both agreed it was sleeping time, Arin."

"Yeah, but listen. We leave Amsterdam tomorrow. We could sleep, maybe see like a coffee shop in the morning, and leave." Arin leans closer. " _Or,_ we go enjoy the city for a few hours tonight, wake up late tomorrow and get the rest of our Z's on the bus."

"Okay, but consider my counter offer." Dan closes his eyes and starts to snore loudly. He feels Arin move, then a pillow smack into his face. He shoves at where he thinks Arin is, not hitting anything. He goes back to snoring and hears Arin sigh.

"C'mon man. We don't have a show tomorrow anyway. It's not like you missing a little sleep is gonna kill you."

"It totally will though," Dan says, but he pulls himself into a sitting position. He sighs, stretching his arms over his head. "You'll let me pass the fuck out right after we get back?"

Arin nods. "I swear to God, you can have your beauty sleep." He laughs as Dan smacks his shoulder and Dan shakes his head.

"Fuck you, I'm gorgeous all the time." He pushes himself off the bed and onto wobbly legs. He can feel the pull of the bed already but he forces himself to head to his luggage instead. He hears Arin slide off the bed, presumably grabbing his coat he threw on the floor as soon as they'd entered Dan's room. Dan grabs a hair tie and a heavier coat before zipping up his bag. He turns to find Arin half laying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and his legs planted on the floor. Dan rolls his eyes and throws his coat on his face. Arin doesn't move. "I thought we were going out," Dan mocks.

"We are. In a minute." Arin's voice is muffled from the coat but he still sounds sleepy. Dan considers convincing him just to go to sleep. It obviously wouldn't be too hard. Then again, he really had wanted to see Amsterdam at least a little before they left. 

He pulls part of his hair back with one hand, resting the hair tie in his mouth and he attempts to corral the rest with his other hand. Arin shifts, pulling the coat off his face just a bit so his eyes are visible. "Hey, Dan?"

"Mhm?"

"I farted on your bed."

Dan rolls his eyes, finally getting his hair into one hand. He pulls the hair tie from his mouth. "How shocking."

Arin giggles. "I know, right? Totally out of character for me." He sits up, pulling the coat into his lap. Dan secures his hair before walking over and pulling the coat from Arin's grasp.

"Wildly," He says dryly. He slips the coat on. "C'mon. Before we both pass out from exhaustion."

They stumble out of his hotel room and out onto the street. A blast of cold wind hits Dan's face as he pushes the door open and he shivers, hunching his shoulders. Arin stuffs his hands in his pockets and blows his hair out of his face. They start walking, although neither of them has a direction in mind. They end up along the river, street lights bright overhead. Dan smiles as Arin stops to admire the water below. He tosses a pebble into the river, and then another.

"Wonder how deep it is," He musses.

"Why not dive in and see?"

Arin snorts. "I dunno, Dan. I guess I don't feel like freezing to death tonight." Dan giggles and Arin grins at him, shoving him with his shoulder. Dan shakes his head.

"It's a good night to freeze to death," Dan says and they start walking again. "Plenty cold, lots of light, nice atmosphere."

"Are you trying to convince me to freeze to death? Cause if you want head grump status, you just had to ask. You don't have to second hand murder me."

Dan shrugs. "I like to know my options. You need to know if murder is on the table."

"You murder me every day with your dazzling smile." Arin winks and Dan smiles, chuckling softly.

"Well, thank you, Arin. Good to know my flossing goes to good use." Arin chuckles and leans on him, knocking him off balance for a moment. Dan shoves at him lightly, not really trying to dislodge him. "Get off me."

"Nu-uh. We need to share warmth." As if to emphasize his point, he wraps an arm around Dan's elbow, shivering and nestling closer. Dan feels his face heat up and he clears his throat.

"It was your idea to leave the hotel." He glances up at the buildings around them, trying to ignore the way his heart starts to speed up. _Not now, goddammit._

"And I don't regret that decision. I would just prefer staying warm and alive." Arin pauses. "Oh right, you wanted to murder me by cold. I see." He tugs Dan's arm and Dan glances at him. Arin's smiling and Dan tries to smile back but it's wobbly. "What? Arin asks, raising an eyebrow. "Am I hurting you?"

Dan clears his throat again and shakes his head. "Nah, man, I'm fine." He glances away, eyes scanning for a suitable distraction. A small shop catches his eye and he tugs Arin toward it. "Hey look, there's something still open." He can feel Arin's gaze boring into the side of his head but he keeps his eyes on his destination.

"'Ye Ol Antiques? What are we, in medieval Europe?" Arin finally let's go of Dan's arm as he makes his way forward, and Dan let's out a sigh of relief. He trails behind him, watching Arin stand on his tiptoes to glance through the windows.

"It's probably a tourist trap," Dan says. On display are several badly dressed mannequins, as well as a few vases, a ships wheel, and a wardrobe that looks older than anything he's seen.

"Most definitely," Arin agrees and pulls open the door. This time, Dan's hit with a gust of warm air. He shivers and ducks inside, the bell dinging behind him as he glances about. Arin immediately slips past him, rubbing his hands together vigorously as he takes in the disaster that is this shop. Random bits of furniture are set up throughout the area with no pattern that Dan can see. Dolls, old telephones, and other objects are stacked on the tables, chairs, and desks dotting the area. Old maps and photographs hang from the walls, also seemingly randomly put up. Dan's almost certain whoever owns this place is a hoarder of some kind that just decided they might as well get something out of the deal.

"Welcome!" A high feminine voice calls out. Dan cranes his neck and finds the source of the voice at a desk crammed in a back corner. It appears to be a rather small young woman, with short brown hair and a jean jacket on. She waves at him. Dan tentatively waves back.

"Dan! Come look at this!" Dan turns to find Arin grinning and holding what looks like a rather fucked up carving of a man riding a goat. Or something. Dan gives an apologetic glance at the woman before headed to Arin's side. Arin holds up his prize and Dan takes it from him, turning it over in his hands. It takes him a few seconds to realize the man's not _riding_ the goat. At least, not in the traditional sense.

"Oh god, what the fuck?" Dan shoves the figure back into Arin's hands. Arin's giggling and Dan can't help the blush rising to his face because of what he just realized. "Why-" He starts, then lowers his voice. "Why the fuck would they have something like that?"

"I dunno, man. Old shit is old shit, I guess." He's still giggling as he places it back down and wanders deeper into the maze of objects. Dan skirts past the figure and follows him, glancing around curiously. Thankfully, everything else seems rather normal. He finds a rusted locket hanging off the side of an intricately carved chair and picks it up delicately as he can. He opens it to find a black and white photo of a young man with big dimples and a navy uniform on. He smiles slightly, imagining what must have been the young woman who wore this locket, her love so far away and yet still close to her heart. He closes it and places it back before searching out Arin again.

He finds him sitting in an extremely ugly armchair, turning another figurine over in his hands. He's afraid to examine it in earnest, so he just gets the idea that it's some sort of frog thing before he leans against the chair, blocking out the figure with the top of Arin's head. "Having fun?" 

"'Course." He tilts his head back, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. "Hey there."

"Hi," Dan says, reaching out to ruffle Arin's hair. Arin smiles and shakes his head to dislodge his hand. Dan shakes his head and smooths out the hair he dislodged. "I hope you know you scarred me for life with that other figure."

"It is my job, after all."

"No, your job is to play video games badly and talk over them." He absently runs his fingers through Arin's hair. It's always so smooth and soft, but he rarely gets to do this. Arin isn't complaining, so he keeps it up.

"Uh, excuse you, but I'm not _that_ bad." Arin settles back into the chair again, staring down at the frog thing in his hands. The more Dan looks at it, he's convinced it's actually some sort of mutant fish with frog legs and a purple head. Maybe it's supposed to be abstract?

"Depends on who you ask." Dan curls a lock of hair around a finger and tugs lightly. Arin's eyes slid shut as he continues curling his fingers through his hair. He can't see his face from this angle but he wonders if he's falling asleep.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess," He mumbles. 

They go silent for a few minutes. Arin even stops flipping the figure for a while, going completely still as Dan plays with his hair. He's not even sure why he's still doing it. He tugs on the strands lightly again, watching them tense and relax as he does. It's fascinating in a weird way. He pulls a bit harder and he's surprised to hear Arin gasp. He blinks, hand pausing. Everything is suddenly very still.

"Arin?"

"Yeah?" Arin asks. His voice sounds breathier than before and Dan's eyes widen. Suddenly, Arin jerks forward, Dan's hand suddenly empty. "I'm, uh, gonna put this back," Arin says quickly, then stands and ducks behind him, facing away from him as he does. Dan watches him disappear behind several large pieces of furniture and he swallows hard, trying very hard to _not_ think about what just happened.

He wanders through the shop in the opposite direction as Arin, picking up random objects that catch his eye. But his mind seems to be caught in a loop, trying to make him think about the fact that Arin might have a thing for having his hair pulled. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Everyone had their kinks and that was fine. But it was weirder to think about the idea that Arin might have a semi because of his innocent ministrations. No doubt that was why he'd sprinted away so fast. Unless he'd just suddenly felt the need to clean up after himself. Dan snorted. Doubtful.

Several minutes of letting-Arin-have-some-space later, he wandered back to the door, hoping to meet him there when he was ready. He was not expecting, however, to round the corner right into him. He backed up almost immediately and cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry. You, um, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Arin was avoiding his gaze, hands shoved in his pockets and head turned towards the floor. Dan sighs.

"Dude, you could have just told me."

Arin frowns, kicking his foot against the wood floor and biting his lip. "I- Sorry, I just- I thought I'd told you about the hair… thing."

"Maybe? I dunno man, we talk about a lot of shit." He shrugs and bumps him with his hip. "It's all good. I'm not gonna freak out just cause he has a thing for hair pulling or whatever."

Arin rolls his eyes. "Well yeah, I would hope you wouldn't. It's pretty vanilla, though maybe not for you." He makes his way outside and Dan follows, head retreating back into his hoodie as the cold hair hits them.

"I like things simple, okay? Nothing wrong with that."

"Oh c'mon, you don't have one weird kink?" Dan shrugs. Arin gives him a disbelieving look and he snorts a laugh.

"No, not really. Why, are you secretly into whips and chains and sex dungeons?"

"Gotta love a good sex dungeon." He winks. "But no, I'm not into impact play or getting my chest stomped on or anything like that. I just like some things that aren't strictly missionary."

"Hey, I'm not just into missionary either," Dan says.

"Doggy style too."

Dan frowns. "Well, now that's not fair."

Arin laughs and shakes his head. "God, you really are into simple, huh?" Dan smacks his shoulder, which only makes him laugh harder.

"Shut up. I'll like what I want, thank you very much."

"Have you even tried sticking something in your ass like I suggested?"

Dan's face heats up quicker than he expects. His mind suddenly goes to an image of Arin with his cock out, two fingers in his ass as he jerks off and wow okay that image needs to leave his head right now. He takes a shaky breath and says, "Uh, no. No, I haven't. It's too weird."

"That's like, one of the least weird things I could get you to do!" Arin sighs. "You're a lost cause."

"If it means I get to have a peaceful sex life devoid of your trying to get me to do weird shit, I'm fine with being a lost cause, thanks."

"Bet if we fucked I could get you out of this boring rut," Arin says it so casually that Dan doesn't catch what he'd just suggested for several seconds. Arin's face is turned away from him again, towards the river. Dan sucks in a breath as more images flash into his head. He pushes them back immediately, refusing to even acknowledge them.

"What, you have a magic dick that'll turn me kinky?" He tries to laugh but it gets stuck in his throat. Arin's still not looking at him but his steps stutter for a second. They're quiet for a long moment, the only sound the wind and their own footsteps. Dan bites the inside of his cheek and glances up at the night sky. There are fewer streetlamps where they are now, so he can see a few stars. He watches them intently, trying to make out constellations. His hand is shaking and he can't seem to make it stop. He breathes slowly. Calmly. "It's nice out tonight," He says quietly. Arin's still silent. He glances back at him and his heart jumps when he realizes Arin's staring at him.

Arin runs a hand through his hair and looks away. "Yeah. Good night for a walk," he says absently. Things go quiet again. They wander away from the river and circle back towards the hotel. As they're cutting through an alleyway, Arin stops suddenly, making Dan almost crash into him. He furrows his brow in confusion. "Arin?"

"Dan, have you-" He pauses, tapping his fingers against his leg. "Have you thought about-" He pauses again and sighs, lifting a hand to his face. "Goddammit."

"Arin, what's wrong?" He puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes and Arin startles, then sighs again and puts a hand over Dan's. His hand is sweaty as all hell, although that isn't too unusual. Dan doesn't pull away though, just waits. After a few seconds, Arin speaks again. "How long have we known each other?"

Dan blinks. "Um, shit. Maybe like- I dunno, near ten years now, I think?"

"In all that time have you ever, maybe thought about me?"

"Of course I have? That's what you do when you hang out with someone all the time. You think about them."

Arin let's out a frustrated grunt. "No, I mean, like, in a different way."

"Arin, what the hell are you talking about?"

Arin surprises him with how fast he turns around. Suddenly they're face to face, Dan's hand still floating stunned near Arin's shoulder. He's way too close and Dan wants to step back, except he's stuck, Arin's gaze holding him there. He tries to say something but it comes out ats a croaky, "Uhhh…"

"Have you ever thought about us." He gestures between them both, and Dan's mouth goes dry.

"I- Um, Arin what- Why…?"

Arin frowns, pursing his lips together as he searches Dan's eyes for something. Dan can feel his face heating up again and he swallows hard. He doesn't know what to say. Has he? Thought about them? Together? He feels like there's a wall in front of him, blocking off any ability to think, which is extremely frustrating.

Arin's frown deepens and he takes a step back. Dan watches him, still frozen. He drops his hand to his side finally, taking in a slow breath. He feels light-headed. Was he holding his breath just then?

"Never mind." Arin shakes his head. "C'mon. It's late." Before Dan can say anything he's walking away, and fast. Dan has to jog a bit to catch up. They lapse into silence for the rest of the walk back to the hotel, neither of them willing to say the first thing to make things less awkward. By the time they get up to their rooms, Dan's head is spinning and his legs feel like jelly. He feels exhausted, in more ways than one.

"Goodnight," Dan manages to say as Arin slips past him down the hall. Arin gives him a quick nod before ducking into his own room. Somehow, Dan feels like he's messed up something important. And there's nothing he can do about it.


	2. The Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is an update long in the making. No sex scene like I'd expected to write, but a lot cuter and sweeter which turned out nice.

Things are a bit weird the next morning. He didn't have much time to think about what Arin had said before he'd passed out, but now that he was fully awake, he couldn't _stop_ thinking about it. To the point that when Jack sees him he asks him if he'd decided to get high this morning cause boy, are you out of it.

Dan gives a careful smile. "Just have some things on my mind. Sorry."

"Nah, it's no big, man." Jack sips his coffee as he tugs his bag up into the bus. Dan follows, his thoughts immediately wandering back to what he's dubbed as 'the Arin situation.' Had he had thoughts about Arin and him? Yes. He could admit that. But not very often. Maybe once or twice in the grump room, and a few times at home. And mostly out of amused curiosity. Like, what would they be like as a couple? Or what would it be like to sleep in the same bed? Nothing too sexual or anything. Well, not more than that one time.

"You're blushin like a fire hydrant, Dan," Jack says, sounding amused. Dan blinks, realizing he's standing in the middle of the tour bus with Jack relaxed in one of the seats lining the side. He feels his cheeks heat up further as he sits down across from him, fiddling with his bag strap as he tries to will his blush away. "Seriously, dude, what's going on with you?"

Dan sighs. "Nothing. I just- nothing. I'm fine."

"Morning, guys," Brent says, stepping onto the bus. Behind him, Dan spots Arin and immediately becomes fascinated with the zipper on his bag. "You all ready to head out?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Dan?" Jack says.

"Mhm," Dan says without looking up.

"Yeah, just let me get my bag put away," He hears Arin say. He steps past him, his shadow passing over both of them, and Dan wills himself to keep as still as possible. He disappears into the back curtain and he sighs in relief.

"Cool," Brent says, plopping down in a seat near him. "The driver's just grabbin some food real fast but we'll be out of here within the hour."

Dan nods, slowly unzipping and zipping his bag. After a few minutes, he glances up to see Jack watching him curiously. He glances away. God, is he really that much of an open book?

"I'm gonna go ahead and take a nap back here." Arin peaks his head back through the curtain. "Try not to be too wild up here while im back here, k?" He grins at Jack and Brent, his eyes brushing right over Dan. Dan frowns but just nods, turning his head to stare out the window. He doesn't bother to listen to their responses, letting his mind wander instead.

No matter how many times he replayed last night in his head, he couldn't come to the conclusion that Arin liked him more than a friend. He wasn't sure if it was because it was true, or because he couldn't let himself think of that as true. Because if it was true, well, that would change so many things, wouldn't it? If Arin wanted to be something more than friends, that might ruin everything. He was married, for god's sakes. Dan could never do something like that to Suzy. Which, of course he wouldn't, because he doesn't like Arin that way.

And yet, there were the little things. Like his heart racing when Arin got close enough that he could smell his shampoo. Or when he tells Dan how much he means to him and smiles such a big smile Dan's heart cant help but flutter. Or the random occasion he gets stuck staring at his lips...

Okay but no, he doesn't like him. He cant. He's straight. Very straight. Way to straight to be even a little bit gay. Though if he had to be gay with someone, Arin wasn't a bad choice.

He groans, putting his head in his hands. His head is starting to hurt and he still doesn't know what to do.

"Dan?"

Dan's head snaps up to find both Brent and Jack staring at him with equally amused looks. He glanced between them, confused. "What?"

"Me and Brent were thinking of playing Jenga while we wait and i was trying to ask you to join, but you seem to be, uh, preoccupied," Jack says. "Something on your mind?"

Dan sighs, letting his head fall back against the couch. "No. Yes. I don't wanna talk about it."

"You know, keeping whatever it is inside cant be helping things much." Brent leans forward, palms up. "If you talk about it, we might be able to help. Is it post show jitters? Pre-show jitters?"

"Worried Arin'll stink up the nap room before you can use it?" Jack snorts a laugh but Dan just flinches at the mention of Arin. He sees Brent's brow furrow and Dan looks away, his face coloring slightly.

"I think I'm just tired. Spacing out and shit, y'know? Nothing to talk about." 

The silence is thick for several seconds. He can practically feel the Do-you-believe-this-bullshit look Brent and Jack are giving each other but he just closes his eyes and pretends not to notice.

"Well," Jack says slowly. Carefully. "How about you go take a nap as well. We've still got a few hours til the next city. Plenty of time for a power nap. Right, Brent?"

"Oh totally. Cant have our star falling asleep on stage. What would the fans think?"

Dan narrows his eyes. "I'm fine. Really. I think i can keep my eyes open for a few measly-" He yawns, holding a hand up to his mouth. "Hours."

"Just go, Dan. You need the sleep." Jack gives him a pointed look, as if he knows there's something else holding him back and Dan purses his lips. If he didn't go, Jack and Brent would no doubt keep bugging him about what was going on and he really, really didn't want them figuring it out.

"Fine." He stands up, glancing back at the closed curtain. He can feel his heart rate speed up but he forces him to take a step forward, then another. "Wake me up when we're there," He manages to call back as he slips behind the curtain.

The room is pitch black when he enters, and he just barely manages to stumble over to an empty bunk and plop down. He doesn't see any Arin shaped blobs, so he assumes he must be on the top bunk. He doesn't does snoring though, so he doesn't know if Arin's asleep or not, and that's a bit disconcerting.

He curls up on his side, arms close to his chest as he closes his eyes and tries not to think. But after several seconds of silence he finds himself thinking about Arin turning around and staring at him, searching his eyes. What had he been looking for? Why had he been so close? Was it an accident? And if it was, why didn't he move away? Or get closer? All he'd had to do was lean forward a little and they'd have kissed.

Warmth blooms in Dan's chest at the thought and he sits up abruptly, rubbing at his eyes and trying to get the image of him kissing Arin out of his head. But it's stuck on loop. Arin leans forward and their lips meet. Soft and slow. He can almost feel Arin's facial hair against his skin and the thought is intoxicating.

"Dan?" A quiet voice says from above him, and Dan's face is beet red now as he realizes it's Arin.

"Yeah?" Dan says back, also quiet. He tries to keep his voice as even as he can, but the same loop plays in his head as he speaks and he's not sure hes entirely successful.

"Did you, um, have trouble sleeping too?" He voice is so careful, as if he's afraid to do something wrong makes Dan's heart ache. He hates it.

"Kind of. I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep." He clears his throat. "Should we-" He pauses. "Should we talk?"

"I- yes but- I don't know if i can do this right now." Arin sighs and Dan's heart sinks.

"Oh. Okay." He taps his fingers on his leg, watching the shadows bounce. His mind has suddenly gone fuzzy and he's not sure what to do. Can he even sleep like this?

"...Are we okay?" Arin sounds so sad that Dan responds immediately.

"Of course we are. I love you, big cat. Nothing will ever change that."

Arin is quiet for a few seconds. "Like a friend, right?"

"I-" Dan digs his fingers into his knees, scrapping the jean fabric sharply. He lets out a shaky breath, unable to stop the image of them kissing from invading his mind once more. Except this time, he's threaded his hands through Arin's hair. He's tugging and Arin is moaning, his body pressed against Dan's as he whimpers, his fingers gripping Dan'd hips tightly...

"Dan?" The outline of Arin's head appears over the bed and then a blinding light. Dan immediately covers his eyes.

"What the fuck, Arin? Get that out of my face!"

"Sorry." Arin lowers the light but it's still illuminating them both enough that Dan can see the tear streaks on Arin's face. "I just wasnt sure if you were still there."

"Where else could i go? Out the window? I feel like that'd be s poor choice for an escape plan."

He sees Arin quirk a smile and chuckle. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Dan's still staring at Arin, unable to stop himself from reaching up to cup Arin's upside down face. He wipes away one of the tears, trying to ignore the way Arin leans into the touch. "Why're you crying?"

Arin swallows, giving him a sad look. "I just- I was sure I ruined things last night. I was being stupid and impulsive and-" He sighs. "Sorry."

"You didn't ruin anything," Dan says slowly, glancing away but keeping his hand where it is. He rubs his thumb over Arin's cheek again as he contemplates whether or not he should say what he's thinking. After a moment of silence, he takes a deep breath and says, "If anything, you, uh, made me rethink some things."

Arin pulls away from him, his head disappearing back onto the bunk. Before Dan can panic too much, however, he hears creaking and glances over to see Arin climbing down the ladder. His phone flashlight is still on and he doesn't bother to try to turn on the light as he sits down next to Dan. Their knees brush and Dan thinks about moving away. He doesn't.

"You know," Arin starts. "I uh, I've been rethinking things ever since I met you. To the point where I actually talked to Suzy about it a few years ago."

Dan blinks, watching Arin's eyes look everywhere but at him. "Talked to Suzy about what exactly?" He feels like he knows but he needs Arin to say it. To make it real. Or else he's not sure he's gonna make it through this.

Arin runs a hand through his hair, his eyes flickering over to Dan's, then away again. "Us. You. How things would work if you ever wanted something...more." He pauses. "Fuck dude, this is really hard for me to admit, but I like you. A lot. More than I thought I could, being married to Suzy." Arin tugs on his hair and lets out another slow breath. "And y'know, I was surprised to find out Suzy is totally on board. I mean, she has her ground rules. I have to tell her if anything happens and we have to communicate clearly about what's happening, but yeah, she's amazing." He laughs softly, glancing at Dan again. His smile is wobbly, almost like it's poised to fall, and Dan doesn't know what to say to make it better. Cause right now he's spiraling. All he can think about is that there's no barrier to kissing him now and he doesn't know whether to be happy about that or terrified. Because yeah, okay, maybe he does want to kiss Arin. But what does that mean for him? For them? What will this make them if he does this? He just doesn't know.

So all he says is, "Oh." Quietly and looking down at his lap. He refuses to see Arin's expression right now. It's probably not good but fuck, he can't deal with this. It's too much. 

"it's okay if you don't feel the same way." Arin says quickly, resting a feather light hand on Dan's knee and squeezing slightly. "I'll get over it. It's easier to when you know it's impossible."

Dan unclenches his hand and very deliberately places it over Arin's. He threads his fingers through Arin's, squeezing tight. He's holding on for dear life as he says, "Give me a moment," and gives Arin a shaky smile. Arin has a mix of confusion, concern, and disappointment on his face but he nods.

Dan lets himself take in everything he can about Arin's shadowed face. His long hair. His dark eyes. His wide nose. His lips. He swallows, scooting so he's facing Arin. He lifts his other shaking hand and traces the shape on Arin's face, resting his palm against his cheek. Arin leans into the touch again, still confused but seeming to take anything he can. Dan swallows his nerves and lets himself trace over his bottom lip with his thumb. Arin immediately parts them, which makes Dan's breath quicken. He traces over his lip a few times before moving his thumb away. 

And he kisses him.

It's feather light and he's so unsure, he can barely manage to breathe, but when Arin kisses back, he feels something unfurl in his chest and he presses closer, finally giving him a proper kiss. Arin's hand cup the back of his neck, his fingers digging into his curls. He starts panicking a little, questioning what the fuck he's doing. He's kissing his best friend for fucks sake. This is wrong.

But then he feels Arin rotate his hand so they're hands are palm to palm. And suddenly he's calm. Yes, Arin's his best friend but he also likes him. He really, really likes him. So fuck it. He might as well go all in.

He moves his other hand to the back of Arin's neck and tangles his fingers in his hair, tugging sharply. Arin lets out a startled moan, and pulls back, his eyes wide and cheeks flushed. "Sorry, it's a reflex."

"That's what I was counting on," Dan murmurs. He only gets a second to savor how wide Arin's eyes get for a moment before he kisses him again, this time deeper. He scoots closer, his legs practically in Arin's lap as he continues tugging on Arin's hair. Arin moans each time, seeming to melt in Dan's grip.

After several minutes of this, Dan quickly finds himself seated in Arin's lap. He pushes him back against the bed, pressing him down with his body. Arin whimpers, arching his back as Dan moves to kissing his neck. He can feel Arin's erection pressing into his leg and honestly, it's making him panic a little, but he tries to focus on the here and the now instead. Like Arin making pretty noises beneath him.

"Fuck. I didn't know, ah, you had it in you do, ah do this." Arin says between stiffled moans. 

Dan pulls back, panting. "Neither did I," He says, chuckling. He stares down at Arin, his phone thrown to the side so it's shining in his eyes. He squints and pushing it farther away. "God, why is your phone so bright?"

"To help me see, Dan. That's the point of a flashlight," Arin says dryly.

Dan giggles and shoves his shoulder. "Oh, shut up." Arin squeeze his hand and he squeezes back. "Should we turn the light on?"

"Nah. I don't want Brent and Jack getting suspicious. So," Arin grins. "You like me, huh?"

Dan blushes, sitting back on his haunches. "I guess, yeah. I'm uh, just figuring this out. But I've been having...thoughts about kissing you and being a couple on and off for a while." He clears his throat. "It's a little bit gay."

"A little bit? It's very gay, dude. This," He gestures at the two of them as they are. "This is very gay."

"Yeah but," He chews on his lip nervously. "I just, always thought I only liked women. This is very confusing me to like a guy. It's like, I shouldn't, but I do, and I don't know how to deal with that."

Arin's smile softens and runs a thumb over the back of Dan's hand. It's such a tender gesture it makes Dan's throat tighten. "Dan, it's okay if you're still figuring things out. Hell, I only admitted to myself I liked guys a few years ago. It's hard when you spend you're whole life thinking things are one way and then it just changes." He lifts their joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of Dan's hand. "But I hope you know that I love you. In all the ways that means. And even if you're not there yet, I'll be here for you. Okay?"

Dan feels himself tear up and he swipes at his eyes. "Thank you, Arin. I love you too. I-in what way, I don't know yet. But I do." He smiles, leaning down to give Arin a soft kiss. It's tender and slow, and Dan pours all of his confusing feelings into it, holding Arin close like he's a treasure that he's been searching for. And Dan feels Arin do the same. Two hearts beating together..

Their perfect moment is shattered by the muffled sound of knocking on the curtain. They both pull back sharply and glance up to find Jack staring at them with both bewilderment and amusement. "Well, while this is a bit of a surprise, maybe next time stick a sock in Arin's mouth to muffle the moans. Me and Brent do _not_ need to hear that, thanks."

Dan's face goes so red, he might as well have turned into a tomato. Arin just starts laughing, unable to stop as Dan just gives Jack a quick nod and a whispered, "Sorry." Jack shakes his head and lets the curtain shut behind him.

Dan covers his face with both hands, pulling out of Arin's grip. "Oh my god. Oh my god." He slaps Arin's shoulder. "Why did you have to be so loud?"

"It's your fault," Arin says, still laughing. "I told you the hair was a thing!" Dan groans and drops his head to Arin's chest. Arin wraps an arm around Dan's shoulders, still chuckling. "it's fine. Jack and Brent won't tell a soul."

"If they do, I'll fucking kill both of their dogs." Dan's voice is muffled by Arin's chest so the threat comes out rather lackluster. Arin ruffles his hair affectionately.

"I'm not sure either of them own dogs, hun."

"Well then I'll by them both dogs just to kill them in front of them. It's what they deserve."

Arin presses a kiss to the top of Dan's head and the tension in Dan's shoulders eases a little. "C'mon. I need you to get your giant ass off of me so I can text Suzy. She'll want the deets asap."

Dan starfishes out on top of Arin, making him laugh again. "No. I refuse to share right now. You're mine for at least ten more minutes." He glances up to find him smiling, that tender look in his eyes again. He threads his fingers back through Dan's, and squeezes tightly. Dan squeezes back.

"Ten minutes, huh? I think I can handle that."


End file.
